| you are nothing but a second-rate trying hard COPYCAT |
[Jun. 10th, 2008 en 08:52 pm] |
| [ | ¿dónde? |
| | backseat bleh | ] |
| [ | me sintiendo |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | escuchando |
| | mamatay ka naaaaa! | ] |
/edit: ok that was way too classy crassy even for me.
but it doesn’t change how i feel about the whole copycat affair.
and so let it be said and known far and wide (as far as this can get) that anyone who imitates/copies/rips off someone without the least bit of decency to acknowledge and/or pay her respect is a stupid douche face of a bicce who will not go anywhere in life unless she marries rich and whoever gets rich enough for her taste must be smart enough to avoid her. for those sad exceptions, you have been warned.
know this: imitation is suicide, poseho
tally ho.
/end |
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| day 15 |
[May. 14th, 2008 en 12:53 pm] |
| [ | ¿dónde? |
| | neither here, nor there | ] |
| [ | me sintiendo |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | escuchando |
| | don't blame it on the sunshine/don't blame it on the moonlight | ] |
i'm for reckless abandon and spontaneous celebrations of nothing at all, and so today—15 days til 29may— i'm officially starting the COUNTDOWN TO 20!!!!!!
/uproar!
/explosions in the sky!
i know, i know, i know i should've started it some 5 days ago when it could've been a really kickass 20 days to 20 countdown but oh well, i didn't. cos 1. i didn't feel like it and, 2. i didn't think of starting it so soon (i missed it i know i suck). /exhale. not my fault!!!!! it's the stars, you gum. blame it on the stars.
i was supposed to wake up early today. like 4:00am early. i woke up 6:30am instead. turns out i didn't set my alarm. so nothing went off at 3:50am. so then there was nothing noisy to wake up my dear roommate who would then scream out my name on an average of 8 times so that i'll wake up (yes, that's how my alarm works). how i wasn't able to set my alarm last night, i will never know. you can fault me for sleeping like a log or not waking up when someone screams out my name but not when it comes to setting my alarm because i always set my alarm. so who's fault was it this morning? again, them stars i say. it's fate, man. it's just not meant to be. effing frell.
so then yeah. what's up with this fate business? this crazy concept that we're not really responsible for the course our lives take. that it's all predestined and written in the stars. but are the stars really the one to blame? and does it explain why, if you live in a city where you can barely see the stars (i'm sorry singapore but your night sky really blows), your life and love and everything else in between tend to feel a little more random? and even if our every man, every kiss, every heartache is pre-ordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal milky way? can we actually make a huge-ass mistake and miss our fate?
have i taken a wrong turn? |
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| doorstep moment. NOW. |
[May. 10th, 2008 en 05:56 pm] |
asdkl;'
;kjhgfdxszzdfghjkl;'
kjhgfdsaGP
i just sent myself over the edge. /swooosh
stop ignoring what i say!!! naiinis ako ngayon!!!!! do you care??? NONONONONONONONONO (shout out to reks MWAHA!) all you care about is the progressive music girl you picked up and had a doorstep moment with!!! ANDAYA MO!!!!! cheek kiss all!! one big hmph! I WANT MY DOORSTEP MOMENT TOO!!!!! |
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| a tighter grip on my heart will stop it skipping when you're around |
[May. 9th, 2008 en 11:47 pm] |
| [ | ¿dónde? |
| | neither here, nor there | ] |
| [ | me sintiendo |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | escuchando |
| | before you left to go away i wrote down what i couldn't say/now come on back... | ] |
20days to 20! I return with a vengeance! Well I haven't been anywhere as of late, really. To be honest, it's more of that feeling of me being constantly in motion, and yet going nowhere. Oh my, major clarity moment 20days from 20. Whodathunk??? I mean, it's just 20! Isn't it too early for me to be hitting a quarter-life crisis? But that's just the way things pan out, yes? I suppose it's just because everything seems to be happening all at once, and I feel attacked from all sides: the practicality of doing and completing my work, of meeting my parents' expectations, of being the obedient model kid; the impatient nagging feeling of wanting to break free and being, well, creative.
It's like everyone's suddenly obsessed with individuality and creative expression these days--exploring your own calling, dabbling in lots of little things and trying to find where you really fit. But maybe, that's not it, we're doing it all wrong. Maybe that's not what we should be obsessing. Maybe instead of finding something new and out-of-this-world, we ought to pause and revel in the beauty of the boring.
Some well-known boy was quoted for saying the following: Our souls go out to seek adventure, it lives through adventures--but it does not know the real torment of seeking and the real danger of finding. Such a soul never stakes itself. It does not know that it can lose itself.
Do I have a point? Yes: let's all just go to sleep. I didn't mean to sound preachy. :) Partyyyyy.
*
your smile will be
the last that i forget of you
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| because real brewed coffee is so much better than instant |
[May. 1st, 2008 en 09:47 pm] |
| [ | ¿dónde? |
| | neither here, nor there | ] |
| [ | me sintiendo |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | escuchando |
| | i had to find you/tell you i need you/tell you i set you apart | ] |
is it necessarily strange that when I look at a picture of a goalie blocking a...well...goal, the first thing I notice is that the swishy net looks like a bunch of cyclohexanes gummed together?
hmmm, this is it! MAY IS FINALY HERE!!! oh, how my heart flutters! /SQUEEEE! homygad, i just realized i haven't squeee-ed in a while. and yes, it's nice to be squeee-ing again! it's like finding a missing heartbeat.
in einstein revealed, einstein revealed (MWAHA) his thoughts on love. imagine that!
love is the successful attempt to make something lasting out of an instant
perhaps <3 |
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| like an old song |
[Apr. 30th, 2008 en 03:37 am] |
i'm watching you watch over me
and you do a pretty great job of it.
=) |
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| one/four/thirty |
[Apr. 29th, 2008 en 08:47 pm] |
| [ | ¿dónde? |
| | neither here, nor there | ] |
| [ | me sintiendo |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | escuchando |
| | now come on back to where you know i'll be | ] |
an essay of twenty-odd pages that won't write itself out by tomorrow...that's cool.
it's fantastic how quickly i swing from intense dislike to mild amusement.
/breather
it's april 29. do you know what's so special about today?
it's the first day of my last month as a nineteen-year-old, which is technically speaking, the last leg of my -teen years.
so in an effort to collate my life's nineteen years of happenings so far, i've gone through my old planners/journals from first year hs knoller days until today. this time last year, i wrote down in my planner, yes i am a cold dead place, and then i grew out of the angry angsty thinking-of-what-could've-been phase so i went back to loving-the-entire-world phase. then i realized that all these gray areas—moments of limbo— before my birthday are usually the baddest times of my life. worse than the gray area between christmas and new year, because at least those so-called festive seasons usually guarantee either a lot of prezzies or a lot of wine so one learns to deal, somehow
here's a silly shallow example of learning how to deal: i've always wanted dreadlocks. ever since grade three, homygad i swear. and maybe the only way i'm going to keep my hair this long (or even longer) is to follow through with that childhood plan.
see, childhood plans are very different from childhood dreams because plans have a method to them and often you spend an inordinate amount of time researching what it is you wanted to do (in the case of dreadlocks) or working toward what it is you want (like a bike, or a medical degree, or a solid return of investment, or that one true thing) and if you don't put these childhood plans into action they're going to manifest during your mid-life crisis and you're going to get up and do something crazy like quit your highest-ever-paying job and move to the states to start at the bottom of the ladder again, only then you'll have heavy roots like responsibility and/or family and it won't be as easy as it would've been when you were nineteen.
oh but soon i'm leaving nineteen behind. guess i'll never really know how easy that could be. turning twenty twenteen in a month. no, in four weeks. no, in thirty days. apparently there's a difference between a month, four weeks and thirty days.
and with it, the realization that there's no way in heaven/hell olive oyl will write out my essay for me.
*
it's always that feeling of sudden flight, of loss of solid ground.
the skipped heartbeat, and upon its return, the sight of the earth rushing up to catch my fall.
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